Fresh Start Daily

I hear and read this often (not necessarily for me). People love to give this advice, and I understand that they have nothing but good intention. However, I have observed that I love myself better not when I spend so much time loving myself or making myself feel good by going on a trip, eating good food, getting a massage, or other things that they say will help us love ourselves but when I spend quality time with my Savior.

Sure those things are nice and they do make us feel good but the joy they bring is temporal. They don’t last. Those things make us feel good for a while but hours, days, weeks, months, or even years later, we revert to our exhausted, disappointed self. Then we do things to make us happy again. It’s a vicious cycle.

When I read and meditate on the Word of God, when I hear from Him through His Word, when I feel His warm and comforting presence, when I am enveloped by His peace that transcends all understanding, when He fills me with hope, when He reassures me that I am His, I feel good, I feel beautiful, I feel loved and I love others better. People’s opinion fade in the background and all that matters is I am loved by my Maker, my Savior, my King, my Father, my redeemer, my safe place…

People say we should love ourselves but what do they really mean when they say that? God teaches us the opposite in His Word. Nowhere in the Bible can we find God telling us to love ourselves. God even tells us to die to self every day.

“Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.’” Luke 9:23-24

What does dying to self mean? Dying to self means to love God first, others second, ourselves last. It means to love others even—most especially—when it’s difficult. (God says we are to love our enemies even if they doubt our intentions.) It means sharing the truth about God with people even if they persecute us, even if it literally costs our life! It means to have a peaceful heart even when others ignore or malign us. It means serving people even when they are thankless.

Boy, that ain’t easy! Humans are naturally selfish and it’s our instinct to put ourselves above others. I need to seek God daily and be filled by His love for me to be able to do that. My love is limited. It is God who supplies me with love when I’m running out. I always ask Him to fill me till I overflow…till I spill it to others. We cannot pour from an empty cup.

It doesn’t mean letting others treat us like doormats. It means following Jesus’ example of service and it is ultimately for the Lord (Matthew 20:26-28, John 13:14-17). Jesus said that whoever wants to be first should be last (i.e. slaves). Jesus did not come to be served but to serve.

The question is, what/who should be our source? Jesus is the only one who never runs out and never fails because He is God. His love is limitless. We can only truly love ourselves when we love God first because He is the source of love.

“We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

“The self-esteem cult that goes around saying we’ve got to build up people’s self-esteem is taking them the opposite way that the message of the Bible does, because the more you love yourself, the less likely you are to need a Savior. Self-esteemism is based on an unbiblical perspective. It is diametrically opposed to the truth of human depravity. Moreover, while Scripture commends self-control as a fruit of the spirit, the Bible has nothing positive to say about: self-esteem, self-love, or any other variety of self-centeredness.” – John MacArthur

INGREDIENTS:

BANANA BREAD
1 1/2 c sugar (half brown sugar, half granulated)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
4 eggs
2 1/4 c all purpose flour
1 c butter, melted
1/2 c milk, full cream
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
5 large ripe bananas (about 2 1/2 c)

CREAM CHEESE FILLING:
1 c cream cheese
2 egg yolks
1 tbsp sugar

I made banana bread with cream cheese today for mama because it’s Mother’s Day. I doubled the recipe because this makes only 1 loaf. 😊

Ijust finished doing my workout. The fitness instructor on the video said something that stuck with me. She said that if we aim to build and tone a specific body area, we must not aimlessly do it.

If we live without a purpose, we are headed nowhere. Being fit and healthy is not easy. Exercising is a discipline. I don’t always feel like working out and I sometimes have to literally drag my body. Today is one of those days. I’m not motivated. I don’t know why but I feel tired this week. I didn’t even feel like working. I was pondering on whether I should exercise or not but when I thought about the diseases that I could get from a sedentary lifestyle, I got on my feet!

Then I had an epiphany. It’s the same with our walk with God. We must not follow Him aimlessly. We must follow God ablaze for a crown. Our pastor said in one of his sermons that we should not be content just to enter heaven. We must desire to receive a reward from the Lord. It also says in 1 Corinthians 9 that we must strive for a crown.

vv. 24-27 “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

We must live and not just exist—thrive and not just survive. We are not born in this world to just eat, drink, sleep, make money, have a family, etc. We have a purpose and we must seek God to find it. There is a reason we are here.

It’s my first time to make a pie. I’ve been meaning to make a pie for a while now but it’s only now that I’ve got the time. I’d been hesitant also because I was not sure I could make it well. I looked for recipes on YouTube and found these two:

Pie crust recipe (Paula Haney)

Pie filling recipe (Food Wishes)

PIE CRUST

Ingredients:
2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tbsp. sugar
1 1/8 sticks (9 tbsp.) butter, cold (from the freezer)
5 tbsp. butter, cold (from the freezer)
1/2 c cold water
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

Method:

• Mix the flour, salt and sugar.
• Add the first part of the butter (9 tbsp.) to the flour. I mixed it using a whisk until the texture is sandy.
• Add the second part of the butter (5 tbsp.) to the flour and mix it.
• Combine half a cup of cold water and 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar. Put 5 tbsp. of this mixture to the flour and combine them. (This avoids the gluten from forming. I learned that too much gluten hardens the flour.)
• Knead the dough on the work surface until it comes together in a ball. I put it in the fridge while I did the filling.
• Butter and flour the pan, then transfer the dough into the pie plate.
• I baked the crust for a few minutes (about 15 minutes) before I put the filling because I wasn’t sure it would hold the filling.
• This recipe makes 2 pie crusts.

PIE FILLING:

Ingredients:
4 cups pumpkin puree, fresh
4 eggs
1/2-2 cups condensed milk
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. cinnamon
a pinch of five-spice
1 1/2 tsp. of grated fresh ginger
1/2 tsp. salt

Method:

• I baked the pumpkin in the oven for 50-60 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Then I scooped it out and mixed it with a whisk.
• I added milk, the eggs (2 whole eggs and 2 egg yolks) and the spices.
• I mixed them all together but I did not mix too much because I like the texture in the pie.
• I put the filling in the pie crust and baked it at 425 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 minutes then at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 30-35 minutes.

Many say the nCoVid-19 is not yet an end-time sign. However, whether we are living in the last days or not (I believe we are living in the last days), we should be watchful. We should live as if Jesus is coming today because we don’t really know when He will return.

“There you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect. (v. 40)”

We tend to slack off when we know it’s not yet the deadline. I used to cram for an exam when I was still in school. I would take my review seriously when the exam day/week is near and it did not always yield good results. I feel relaxed when I leave the house early because that means I will arrive in the office early even if I have to face heavy traffic. However, when I leave the house later than usual, I feel tensed because I could be late for work.

We should not focus on the corona virus. Of course we have to take the necessary precautions. However, we can die anytime even without contracting the virus. We can die even without leaving the house. We do not need to wait for the last days to get right with God. (I am preaching to myself also.) The verses I read this morning reminded me to always be ready.

Another thing that stuck with me is verse 48. It says there that those who do not know about the Lord’s second coming cannot escape the punishment for their sins. Though it’s not as severe as those who know about Jesus’ return, they will still be punished. Ignorance is not an excuse. The Lord is truly holy, righteous and just.

“But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more. (v. 48)”

Last night after work (I work from home now because of the community quarantine), I got my gratitude journal and wrote down things I’m grateful to God for and then I got my prayer request journal.

I was going over the items and I was on the 6th page when I started feeling really sleepy. I lied down on the bed to rest for a while and the next thing I know, the sun is up! I woke up earlier than usual today. I know God woke me up early for a reason and that is to finish praying. I took my prayer request journal and picked up where I left off.

I am just amazed by how God is aware of everything in our life. He knows it’s my desire to fast and pray last night and since I was too sleepy (I slept around 1:30 a.m.), He woke me up early today and gave me enough time to actually finish praying.

I am reading Luke chapter 8 about the demon-possessed man that Jesus healed. I underlined verse 35 with my pink pen and flipped to see if the ink is seen on the back page. As I flipped, I read “Jesus is coming” on the page next to the back page of the one I wrote on. (I’m not finished reading yet. I just want and have to document this. I’m having goosebumps as I write this.)

Only that sentence was highlighted and the words around it were blurry. It was very clear. I checked several times to find that sentence again but I could not find it. It was not there anymore. I know what I saw. Hindi ako namalikmata.

I always ask God for answers when there are major decisions I need to make but He never spoke to me that way before. He would always lead me to verses that I need the most in specific times but not this way. Was it a vision?

I’m not surprised to know that Jesus is coming because I believe we are living in the last days and He could come any moment now. I am surprised by how He revealed it to me.

I remember praying to Him a while ago asking Him to speak to me audibly again but I also know that we cannot dictate Him. His ways are higher than ours. He speaks to us differently every time and He always leaves us in awe.

I’m not into competitions. It was never my goal to be a valedictorian or a magna/suma cum laude when I was still a student. I know that a person is not measured by his/her grades. Some students get high grades because of cheating. I’m fine being in the background. I was a wallflower when I was a student. Yes, I was part of the school paper and the debate society in college but it was not to prove anything to anyone. I gravitate towards writing even when I know my grammar isn’t impeccable. I grew up expressing myself in writing. It helped me overcome my awkward teenage and early adulthood years. I wrote about a hundred poems in the past because it was my form of release. I kept lots of diaries. I write more than I speak and I’m okay with that. I’m comfortable with that.

It’s nice to win a contest, sure. The kind of contest I’m referring to that destroys people is the battle of egos. A competition is healthy when it helps us become better individuals. I’m not saying we should settle with mediocrity and not strive to be the best. I’m simply saying, it’s not my personality to compete with people. Of course we should do our best in everything we do, but we should do it not for the world’s applause but for the glory of God.

I am compelled to write about this because some people consider Christianity as a competition. It’s not about being the best in reciting Bible verses (even Satan knows the Word of God). It’s not about being the best Christian. If there’s someone we should be looking up to when it comes to faith is the Lord Himself. He is the ultimate model.

We are not saved because we are intelligent, strong, beautiful, rich, or what have you. Christians should know that we all have the same standing before God. We are not saved because of who we are or what we’ve done but because of who God is. We are saved by the grace of God through faith—faith that is from Him to begin with. There is nothing we can boast about.

I cannot explain everything in the Bible. I even have a hard time memorizing verses. I do remember the words but I tend to forget the book, chapter and verse. (I am working on it though. I need and want to memorize verses.)

I don’t share the Word of God because I think I’m smarter or better than everyone. I definitely am not smarter or better than anyone and I’m totally fine with it. I share the Word of God because I know people need it, like I do. Before knowing Jesus personally, I was lost and shattered. He continuously pursued me even when I’m not worth pursuing. When I surrendered to Him, that’s when I experienced the warmth of His love. No one can tell me that God is not real because I experience Him in my life. I believe in the reality of God because I experience His goodness firsthand and I want to share that with others.

If I had to risk my relationship with people just for them to have a personal relationship with God, so be it. Yes, it’s painful. No one wants to be rejected. Sometimes I get tired and I tell the Lord exactly that. I tell Him the mission He entrusted to us is not easy. It’s not easy to teach people about repentance—especially repentance. People will think you’re being self-righteous, etc. I think I’ve heard all kinds of hurtful words because I share the Word of God. I’ve been singled out. I’ve been gossiped, mocked, laughed at. One time I told God, “Lord, nagiging laughingstock na po ako dito.”

I tell God I’m not qualified to share His Word because I am flawed and I don’t feel worthy to share the gospel. However, He keeps reminding me that none of His children are worthy because of what they do but because of what He did and what He continues to do in their lives. He reminds me that He uses those that are broken for Him.

God chooses the weak, the foolish, the lowly, the despised… He does not like to use the proud, those that rely on themselves for everything. One of my prayers is for God to slap me (but not in a way that I’ll be humiliated 😅) when I’m being proud. I am only able to say these things because of God’s unwavering love for me.

“Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.’” – 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 NIV

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time…” – 1 Peter 5:5-6 NKJV (Verses with the same message: James 4:6-7, Proverbs 3:34)

The Lord always leaves us stunned by His wisdom. Truly, God’s ways are higher than ours.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV

He uses not those who are able but those who are available. I didn’t know the things I know now about Him. God only revealed things to me overtime through His Word and the people who cared about me enough to teach me, rebuke me, and correct me. I am not sure about myself but I am sure about my God. I rely on Him for strength, confidence, peace, joy, hope, all good things. I’m not the best and that’s OK. 😉