I’m not into competitions. It was never my goal to be a valedictorian or a magna/suma cum laude when I was still a student. I know that a person is not measured by his/her grades. Some students get high grades because of cheating. I’m fine being in the background. I was a wallflower when I was a student. Yes, I was part of the school paper and the debate society in college but it was not to prove anything to anyone. I gravitate towards writing even when I know my grammar isn’t impeccable. I grew up expressing myself in writing. It helped me overcome my awkward teenage and early adulthood years. I wrote about a hundred poems in the past because it was my form of release. I kept lots of diaries. I write more than I speak and I’m okay with that. I’m comfortable with that.

It’s nice to win a contest, sure. The kind of contest I’m referring to that destroys people is the battle of egos. A competition is healthy when it helps us become better individuals. I’m not saying we should settle with mediocrity and not strive to be the best. I’m simply saying, it’s not my personality to compete with people. Of course we should do our best in everything we do, but we should do it not for the world’s applause but for the glory of God.

I am compelled to write about this because some people consider Christianity as a competition. It’s not about being the best in reciting Bible verses (even Satan knows the Word of God). It’s not about being the best Christian. If there’s someone we should be looking up to when it comes to faith is the Lord Himself. He is the ultimate model.

We are not saved because we are intelligent, strong, beautiful, rich, or what have you. Christians should know that we all have the same standing before God. We are not saved because of who we are or what we’ve done but because of who God is. We are saved by the grace of God through faith—faith that is from Him to begin with. There is nothing we can boast about.

I cannot explain everything in the Bible. I even have a hard time memorizing verses. I do remember the words but I tend to forget the book, chapter and verse. (I am working on it though. I need and want to memorize verses.)

I don’t share the Word of God because I think I’m smarter or better than everyone. I definitely am not smarter or better than anyone and I’m totally fine with it. I share the Word of God because I know people need it, like I do. Before knowing Jesus personally, I was lost and shattered. He continuously pursued me even when I’m not worth pursuing. When I surrendered to Him, that’s when I experienced the warmth of His love. No one can tell me that God is not real because I experience Him in my life. I believe in the reality of God because I experience His goodness firsthand and I want to share that with others.

If I had to risk my relationship with people just for them to have a personal relationship with God, so be it. Yes, it’s painful. No one wants to be rejected. Sometimes I get tired and I tell the Lord exactly that. I tell Him the mission He entrusted to us is not easy. It’s not easy to teach people about repentance—especially repentance. People will think you’re being self-righteous, etc. I think I’ve heard all kinds of hurtful words because I share the Word of God. I’ve been singled out. I’ve been gossiped, mocked, laughed at. One time I told God, “Lord, nagiging laughingstock na po ako dito.”

I tell God I’m not qualified to share His Word because I am flawed and I don’t feel worthy to share the gospel. However, He keeps reminding me that none of His children are worthy because of what they do but because of what He did and what He continues to do in their lives. He reminds me that He uses those that are broken for Him.

God chooses the weak, the foolish, the lowly, the despised… He does not like to use the proud, those that rely on themselves for everything. One of my prayers is for God to slap me (but not in a way that I’ll be humiliated 😅) when I’m being proud. I am only able to say these things because of God’s unwavering love for me.

“Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.’” – 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 NIV

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time…” – 1 Peter 5:5-6 NKJV (Verses with the same message: James 4:6-7, Proverbs 3:34)

The Lord always leaves us stunned by His wisdom. Truly, God’s ways are higher than ours.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV

He uses not those who are able but those who are available. I didn’t know the things I know now about Him. God only revealed things to me overtime through His Word and the people who cared about me enough to teach me, rebuke me, and correct me. I am not sure about myself but I am sure about my God. I rely on Him for strength, confidence, peace, joy, hope, all good things. I’m not the best and that’s OK. 😉