My mother, sister, and I had a video conference today (like we always do). In the middle of the conversation, my sister asked if I already have news from the embassy about my study permit application. I told her there’s nothing still.

Then my mother and sister started giving me questions to ask my agent about the delay. They were panicking and were talking at the same time. I told them to calm down and to just pray about it but they kept stressing me out so I started to be rattled. I was eating lunch during our conversation and because I was already pressured, I stopped eating and started sending an e-mail to my agent and my aunt (who knows that agent).

When the call ended, I remembered how chill I was before we talked. Their worries rubbed off on me. Suddenly, I recalled my prayers to God. He sometimes allows delays in our life to protect us. There is a reason why I don’t have the permit yet or why I won’t have it at all (if I won’t). I told Him that I’m fine with His will for my life wherever it is.

I realized how easily I was swayed by the emotion of the people around me. I let their stress get into me. I’m not discrediting what they felt. Their opinions are valid and they are just really concerned. I admit I was also worried because the process is taking longer than expected. However, I have learned to lift it all up to God. Thinking about it all the time is honestly exhausting.

I’m usually chill. I don’t like being stressed because…it’s stressful. Haha! I’m the type who looks for solutions instead of wallowing in the problem. However, when there are major issues, I tend to overthink. Sometimes I can’t help but be worried. I’m not saying we should never worry because it’s part of our emotions as human beings. It can be good for the right reason. However, when we focus on the problem, we shrink the ultimate problem solver: God.

I learned that I should focus on God more when I’m struggling. When I focus on my problems, I feel all the more helpless and hopeless. I’ve learned to pray when there are problems I cannot overcome. I praise Him and sing worship songs. I remind myself of His character and recite them back to Him. When I don’t have the strength to do those, I just cry to the Lord and let out wordless groans. Even when there is no immediate change in the situation, I feel hopeful and confident again—not in myself but in the Lord.

The lesson for me today is not to let other people’s worries get to me. I love my family and I value their opinion. They were worried because they care about me. I am grateful to God for giving me a family that loves and supports me. We just had to be reminded today that HE is in control.